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Thy Neighbor's Wife, by Gay Talese
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The provocative classic work newly updated
An intimate personal odyssey across America's changing sexual landscape
When first published, Gay Talese's 1981 groundbreaking work, Thy Neighbor's Wife, shocked a nation with its powerful, eye-opening revelations about the sexual activities and proclivities of the American public in the era before AIDS. A marvel of journalistic courage and craft, the book opened a window into a new world built on a new moral foundation, carrying the reader on a remarkable journey from the Playboy Mansion to the Supreme Court, to the backyards and bedrooms of suburbia—through the development of the porn industry, the rise of the "swinger" culture, the legal fight to define obscenity, and the daily sex lives of "ordinary" people. It is the book that forever changed the way Americans look at themselves and one another.
- Sales Rank: #52982 in eBooks
- Published on: 2009-06-03
- Released on: 2009-06-16
- Format: Kindle eBook
- Number of items: 1
Review
“Talese does not proselytize, he informs...Readable and thoroughly entertaining.”
From the Inside Flap
"Engrossing and provocative." Library Journal
Bestselling author Gay Talese's exploration into the hidden and changing sex lives of Americans from all walks of life shocked the world when it was first published in 1981. Now considered a classic, this fascinating personal oddysey and revealing public reflection on American sexuality changed the way Americans looked at themselves and one another.
About the Author
A former reporter for the New York Times, Gay Talese is a bestselling author who has written eleven books. He lives in New York City.
Most helpful customer reviews
76 of 81 people found the following review helpful.
Polyamory, pornography, and the 1970s sex industry
By F. Orion Pozo
Gay Talese spent the 1970s studying the Sexual Revolution in the USA. He was no detached scientific observer in a white lab coat like Masters and Johnson. He threw himself into his work with enthusiasm. He lived the life he studied and the results of his work are in this book. But this is not just one man's report from the sexual frontier. As a disciplined reporter, he conducted countless interviews, but as a participant he was able to obtain trusting relationships. This is not Sociology; he reports on the people making money from the Sexual Revolution and their customers. It is primarily a book about men using women's sexuality to make money from other men.
This is not an exhaustive history but rather a look at selective people and their impact on the times. John and Barbara Williamson's Sandstone Retreat, a sexually open community in the hills near Los Angeles, is one group that Talese focuses on. Through interviews with many of the participants he explores the effects polyamory (openly maintaining multiple sexual relationships) has on the couples who belong to this group.
A large portion of the book examines the publishing pioneers who, after World War II, risked fines and jail to sell erotic books and magazines in the US. The Post Office laws against sending sexual materials through the mail was the core legal restraint in the US and Anthony Comstock was the chief enforcer of this law. Some of Comstock's more famous exploits are recounted. Talese also reports on the Supreme Court, its decisions, the Presidential Commission on Obscenity and Pornography, and the Nixon White House's response to the loosening sexual climate. Hugh Hefner, one of the most famous people in sexual publishing, is also studied in some detail.
Feminism was another revolution developing in the 1970s, but Talese only gives it passing mention. The only feminist mentioned is Betty Dodson, whose drawings of female genitalia and visits to Sandstone are discussed.
Talese also looks into the history of sexual expression and repression in the US. John Humphrey Noyes and the Oneida Community is looked at as a precursor to the open sexuality of the 70s. The community was built on Noyes' concepts of Perfectionism which included communal sharing that extended to sexual relationships.
These are just the major themes. A 20 page alphabetic Index ends the book with entries from Abortion to Emile Zola. I found the history of sexually explicit publishing most interesting. The depth of the personal interviews related to the Sandstone community was excellent. So much has changed in the past 25 years in terms of sexual expression and the sex industry. This book is a wonderful study of this period and the people involved.
50 of 56 people found the following review helpful.
A report from the barricades of the Sexual Revolution
By Andrew C Wheeler
This is the great smutty book of the baby-boom Seventies, one of the cornerstones of the mythology of the Me Decade and a major work in the canon of the New Journalism -- the exemplar of several things at once and tremendously popular and influential for many years. Coming to it thirty years later, though, the reader is struck by how diffuse it is, lacking a real through-line or conclusion. Perhaps there could never have been a conclusion to a book that was so thoroughly "the way we live now" -- we all did not stop living in 1980, and the way we lived kept changing, as it always does -- but Talese doesn't even make an attempt to sum the book up, just drags himself into the last chapter to explain what he wanted to do, or thought he was going to do, before bowing out quietly.
Thy Neighbor's Wife only explains itself in that last chapter, with Talese taking the reader on a whirlwind tour of all of the books that Thy Neighbor's Wife didn't become -- a consumer guide to massage parlors, Talese's own sexual autobiography, an in-depth look at the Sandstone Retreat, an examination of the intersection of nudism and sex -- before ending suddenly. Before that, it ran through twenty-five chapters, each one on a discrete topic, only slightly connected to the chapters before and after -- though he did circle back to a few topics: Sandstone, Hugh Hefner, and the place of Chicago in America's libido. Talese begins with a photo of Diane Webber (the model immortalized on the cover of the 2009 paperback edition) to tell the story of the late adolescence of a Chicago teen, Harold Rubin, who then disappears for several hundred pages. The narrative jumps from Rubin to Webber, on to Hefner, off to the couples who will later form Sandstone, and then wanders away into describing obscenity cases for a while (with the requisite thumbnail sketches of the then-current Supreme Court justices) before bouncing back to many of those earlier subjects for a while and bounding onward.
It's a scatter-shot approach, dizzying at times, and Talese's workmanlike prose moves it forward ploddingly, less leaping from topic to topic than building isolated foundations for various buildings in the same development. Talese hints at larger structures and plans, but refuses to speculate about them -- he'll only concern himself with the particular. One particular love affair of Hefner's is given in great detail, while a myriad others are left unmentioned or swiftly skimmed over -- probably because the one woman in question agreed to be interviewed by Talese, and the others didn't.
Talese wants to tell a grand sweeping story -- of how all of America changed its view of sex and love over the course of the decades of the '60s and '70s -- but to tell it entirely in particulars, and to tell it while keeping himself out of the story almost entirely (until that last chapter, unveiling his part in the proceedings like the Wizard of Oz). Unfortunately, the story is too big to be told that way -- Talese, from what he tells us here, never even visited most of the country, and didn't do any general or sociological research. He wants to present his subjects as exemplars of changing Americans -- but without saying what they are exemplars of, or how the exemplify anything.
And so Thy Neighbor's Wife comes across -- especially now, thirty years later -- as a collection of primary documents from the period, not a coherent single narrative. We see Hefner as he puts together the first year or so of Playboy, and then again at the height of its success in the early '70s -- but not how he got from one to the other, or what that meant (to him, or to America). We also see very little about what Playboy meant to the young men who read it -- and nothing about its place in the lives of the young women who appeared in it. In fact, if there's one single glaring flaw in Thy Neighbor's Wife, it's women -- they exist here almost entirely as objects, as beings seen from the outside. Talese is a man, and he gets into the heads of the men in this story -- from Hefner and Rubin to Al Goldstein of Screw and John Bullaro of Sandstone -- but not the women. The women here, as in the traditional American male view, control the access to sex, and are capricious and ultimately not understandable -- men can just try to figure out the rules so as to get as much sex as possible. And the problem then with this era was that the rules were changing radically and without warning -- that was good for men, since it generally meant that more sex was available, but it was also bad, since getting that sex required entirely different methods and plans.
I kept wanting Thy Neighbor's Wife to either stay on one subject long enough to cover it in depth, or to zoom out to a big picture once in a while to provide some context. (Sandstone was an outlier even in the sexual revolution -- but how many couples were swapping partners, in one way or another, in those mid-'70s years? How did the loosening of sexual morality affect people in the middle of their lives? How were the teens of the '70s different from those of the '50s, in ways that can be traced back to Playboy and Lady Chatterly and Henry Miller?) But Thy Neighbor's Wife is a book of reportage, not of analysis -- Talese never makes this clear, but his aim was to show what he saw, and not presume to make judgements about anything larger. And so Thy Neighbor's Wife is a book focused primarily on Chicago and Los Angeles, and even there on the Playboy Mansion and Sandstone, because that's where Talese spent the most time on the ground, talking to people. (And, as he coyly hints at in that last chapter, screwing around with at least a couple of those newly liberated young women before going back to his marriage.)
Thy Neighbor's Wife is still an important book, but all of the things that it did have been done since -- and mostly done better -- by many other books, each of them focusing on one aspect of that era and examining it in more depth. It's a decent starting point to the world of the sexual revolution, but it only leads on to other books that make more of an effort to answer the questions that Talese only raises.
25 of 29 people found the following review helpful.
My Favorite Non-Fiction!
By doktordrew
Gay Talese does a brilliant job of narrating the evolution of sexuality during the 20th century. By thoroughly including all the movers and shakers in the development of censorship legislation, sex shops, massage parlors, communes and sexual revolutionists in enthralling detail, Talese manages to create a riveting tale of human sexuality. By infiltrating the sexual revolution of the 60's and 70's, Talese offers first-hand accounts. He artfully balances his keen observations as a slightly removed journalist with indulgent, self-purposeful experimentation, then masterfully conveys his findings to his audience. Like "Honor Thy Father", Talese invests a great deal of time and risk in researching his material and the result is a page-turner. While he tends to mention numerous names of people who shaped 20th century sexuality, the result is not overwhelming but instead may inspire you to keep a list of names as you read through the book with the intention of researching these people yourself. Indeed, this masterpiece flows with gripping narrative style, introducing characters that seemingly have no relationship to one another, until you read further and find that their influence is intricately commingled. This book will fascinate you with its exploration and understanding of American sexual identity. A must read!
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